Silent

Boom!

Thunder claps outside, ominous, making the interior of this small apartment seem even more like a prison than normal.

Smack!

The door swings open, hits the wall and you stumble in, words sloppy, hair tussled.

…

I sit, silent, consider my options… I choose to stay silent.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

You yell sharp at me… I look up at you from my homework, algebraic equations. Your eyes stair at me, frozen blue razors.

…

Before I can answer you start yelling. I look back at my equations but my thinking is interrupted by the sharpest of your words. Stupid. Worthless. Fat. All the insecurities that lay dormant inside of me you awaken.

Crash!

The floor shatters the wood chair you throw inches from me. You’re still yelling. My mind spins out of control. I stand, tears filling my eyes.

 

Wham! 

Before I know what is happening I am flying backwards parallel to the floor my body heading straight for my desk. I can still feel your hands burning my skin when I finally hit the floor.

Thud! Thud!

You deliver two hard kicks to my ribs before I can turn over to my stomach and catch my breath.

…

I feel pain like I never have before and not just in my body. I lay still paralyzed with fear and astonishment. You walk into the bedroom and lay down. I don’t move until I’m sure your asleep. I can’t speak, I can barely move, and I’m having trouble thinking. I get onto my hands and knees and ask Jesus how this happened… silently…silently… The night has been so loud.

 why did I stay silent?