One morning when I was out for a walk it struck me that I have been living in Louisville for about 5 years. This is the longest I’ve stayed in one place since I was 18! I’ve lived all over the mid-west, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, I even stayed in Colorado for a very short time. Somehow out of all the places I’ve been, Louisville is the one the stuck. The community that called to me. Where my heart has found it’s home.
It kind of feels like destiny, as cheesy as that sounds. I applied for one job in Louisville and countless jobs elsewhere. I had perspective jobs in Des Moines, IA and Seattle, WA but I ended up in Louisville, KY. During my first trip here, I went from being overwhelmed with the big city to in love and despite all the weird stuff that has happened to me since, that love for this city hasn’t changed.
When I say weird stuff has happened to me here, I really mean it! At the first apartment I lived in (in the south end, off Dixie Hwy) I witnessed a girl run outside naked yelling for someone to call the police. Turns out her boyfriend had been doing meth and started to physically hurt her. I called the police, but because this was within the first few months of living here I naively tried to get her to come into my apartment without thinking about what danger would come with. That’s just where it started. Interestingly enough I also had another Meth experience while living closer to downtown (Butchertown, E Washington st.) I moved into the beautiful old one-bedroom apartment with exposed brick! It was small but I loved it. The weekend after I moved in I was excited to get new neighbors. Problems began literally the first night. I woke up to a domestic despite, the guy throw the girl in a trash can and then tried to hit her with a car. ( I don’t know the details but I hold her at no fault for what happened that night. ) After that it went downhill pretty fast. There were loud arguments about bad drugs, syringes on the sidewalk. She was a sex worker which would not have bothered me at all except for her johns would come to my door at 3am and knock until they got an answer. One of them even walked straight into my apartment with a hard push, breaking the chain lock.
Some of the most memorable and significant experiences I’ve had in my life have been here. I still remember my first day of work in the BB&T building downtown. I replaced the jeans I had worn at my old mall jobs with real business casual clothes and a blazer! I was amazed at how far my hard work had brought me. I always wanted to live in a city and work in one of the big building and I always wanted a job where I helped people. That day I walked into 16-year-old Melissa’s dream. I saved someone’s life, a few times actually, calling 911 and providing care until EMS got there while someone I loved came in and out of seizures and using Narcan to reverse a heroin overdose. I then had my life saved by a loved one ( my current boo). I went in to the hospital to get my gallbladder removed, a very simple, very common surgery. I was told for an otherwise healthy person there was .3% chance of complications. By the next day it was clear to my care taker that something was wrong and he took me to the ER where I was then admitted to the hospital for internal bleeding. By that evening they were doing emergency blood transfusions. I was asked if I wanted them to call a religious figure for last prayer. (At the time I didn’t put together that for a minute the doctors and nurses weren’t sure if I was going to live) The next day I was back in emergency surgery. Doctors took liters of blood out of my abdomen. It has been lonely sometimes living 8 hours away from family. I have had a lot of hard times here in Kentucky. It has been scary, and frustrating, and has forced me out of my comfort zone. All I can say about it looking back is it has all been worth it.
This city has so much personality and so many different types of people. I’ve had the good fortune of meeting some of those people and seeing some of those places in my time here. While working as a crisis intervention counselor for Springstone (I’m still working there) I made fast friends with several of the women I work or worked with. These people all help to expand my understanding of people and the world around me. Going to protests over Brianna Taylor’s death I have seen the power of community and people coming together for the sake of justice. Matching the streets, I witnessed corruption and injustice that I did not know existed. I have stared wide eyed at Churchill Down, falls of the Ohio and the Speed Art museum. They are all so beautiful in their own way. I get it, also super cheesy, but it’s true, it’s how I feel. I’ve enjoyed my time getting lost and seeing new parts of the city, walking down Cherokee Rd, and exploring hidden treasures that locals have recommended. I even found Bernheim Forest, a nature preserve and park that reminds me of the woods I grow up with in my back yard.
My time here hasn’t all be good and the city is not without its flaws. Drugs tear families apart here. The local government seems to be permeated with corruption and cover ups. I myself have not always had it easy here but what’s so special is that no matter what has happened in my life I’m glad that it has happened here. I’ve learned so much about the world and myself. I’ve grown in ways I never thought possible. Louisville and the people here helped make me who I am today. I’m so thankful for this city and all it’s brought into my life. Thankful for the new perspectives and hard lessons it has presented. I’ve lived in so many places, some of them cool, some of them super lame but Louisville is unlike all the others. Sometimes locals roll their eyes at me when I tell them how much I love it here but I can’t help but to smile. There is so much beauty and talent here, the community is fighting for justice, and THE FOOD! This place is so unique and as cliché as it sounds, it inspires me every day.
Confessions of Chaos 
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